When I was younger I thought that all of my problems were being caused by goblins. They would follow me, and each time I was doing well at something, they would put obstacles in my way to make sure that I did not succeed.

I thought that they were devious. They would hide from me and gain power from my failure.

I now realize that this is untrue.

I am actually being followed by invisible aliens. It is an invisible alien TV crew with invisible cameras. My whole life is a comedy program on an alien TV channel.

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